The Elevator Pitch

Writers are hopeless at summarising their work in any less words than the work itself. Listen to some poetry readings, and the introduction is longer than the poem. Artists do better at taking care of business. Damien Hirst might not be much of a painter, but he's a helluva entrepreneur. Movie makers have to be money raisers. The one minute - or one line - pitch is sometimes the only chance you get to sell your work to a promoter, publisher or producer. So I thought I'd get some practice in by coming up with an elevator pitch for some of my favourite movies of 2009, a few of which have already been reviewed at greater length on these pages.

The Wrestler

Has-been grapples with what-might-have-been.

Moon

Man talks to his selves in a room on the moon.

An Education

Slum landlord grooms young swot for marriage.

Creation

Darwin & daughter vs God & wife.

Synecdoche: New York

All the world's a stage and then you die.

Let the Right One in

Vampire girl falls for Swedish boy.

Broken Embraces

Gay director ravishes favourite actress with camera.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Foursome ends happily ever after.

Where the Wild Things Are

Wolf boy made monster king and then goes home for tea.

Slumdog Millionaire

Street kid wins girl in TV quiz show.

Frost / Nixon

Playboy takes on politician in blinking contest.

A Serious Man

Life is hard and that's funny.

Watchmen

Men in capes don't save the world.